At home.....

I just felt like writing....I don't actually have something to comment upon...I wanted to write cause am at home, sitting in my room, at my desktop. :)... completely blissful...

Last few weeks were very tiring. I traveled a lot, had lot of work pressure at office and sadly some other stuffs to add on.
Being at home alwz reminds me of my golden days. The days where I used to one perfect person who deals with every encountered problem with great ease. Sometimes it makes me realize what a looser I turned into. Nowadays am full of issues at work, home and life and there doesn't seem any end of them.

I really need some peace of mind. Maybe a day where am not aiming anything and I am not running or trying hard. Knowing me, this is quite next to impossible soooo I think I need to re-define my goals. :)

I already have few Ideas and You guys can also come up with some, Anything you guys think I can be good at or may be will feel nice doing it... I'll be grateful.

Ohhh Btw...I wish U all a very Happy Diwali and a prosperous new year !!! I hope U guys have a grt year ahead!! :)

(*Media Player is playing "Barking at the moon" by Jenny Lewis *)
"Thr is no home like the one you have got, cause that home belongs to you. "

Highly recommended by Clementine... :)

Today at night...

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Ten is time for making up a story,
Erasing all that's dull and ordinary,
No light but hope-light, no end but glory.

Eleven we have a long way to go,
Living through all these yes and no,
Even-uneven, who knows? Closed door or open window.

Twelve and am still wide awake,
Picking old dreams for a remake,
A day without a dawn, no tears no heartache.
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Catch 22

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It was drizzling outside when Nikky entered the room crying. It took me just 10 seconds to think about all the possibilities. Is she hurt? Did someone at the road said something? (sadly its a very common thing.. :( ), someone did something? (Not common but thr are all kinna ppl on this road...), Office? (Some shittest ppl of my life are from thr), work? Fought Dev? (Friend), something happened to family?

I didn’t felt stunned or anything. She is one little gal who have a long way to go learning survival skills. I told her to stop crying. I bought her a glass of water and asked her the reason. She was all red. Eyes were swelled and they were looking like as she has put some red kajal or makeup on them. I asked again....she couldn’t say anything. She was breathing hard and I was amazingly calm.
She finally managed to tell me It was some work related issue and argument at office. She is a fresher and ppl are not helping her. They comment on her work but don’t help. She was very stressed and said she'll quit job and will go back home.

I didn’t said anything at that time, In fact I asked her to cry as much as she can. It helps. It reminds me of my days, when I entered this mean world. I used to think that everyone thinks as simple as I do. I was nvr the kind of person who will cry over things but, Yahhh helplessness makes me angry....so angry that I can kill myself.

I have come a long way. I have altered into many versions, discovered various things and have learned surviving. I still remember ma’s face when she left me at that hostel gate for the first time. She must know it already. I can figure her expressions now. She was scarred leaving me thr. She knew what all I’ll go thru. I am glad she was strong and am glad she tried showing some faith in me. Since then, I am surviving on my own and hope it continues as smoothly as it is right now.

I wonder my parents’ pain and restlessness to let me go. They have alwz encouraged me struggle thru my choices. It must be very difficult for them to overcome their 21 year old habit of seeing me doing things in their supervision, when they can make sure to be a help if I get messed up. Humans are full of several emotions at the same time. But there are some emotions which are stronger than others, which overcome others. I am glad that my being self independent was a stronger emotion for them than their love, possessiveness. They knew they can’t be here for me every time and thr’ll be several things which I have to face on my own and I should be prepared.

Instead of just supporting, they always left me figuring things on my own. Even when I was crying not to stand on the stage for speeches, they refused help. They must have suffered standing as an audience and seeing me struggling. I went, did well and it continued....I have my bad times also....when It didn’t worked as well as other times. But I alwz got something to learn.

This one is for Ma and papa for living this Catch 22, a constant fear as they sent thr daughter on her own knowing how much worse things can turn out and for enjoying all the success out of thr trust.For their selflessness, their upbringing, their love and everything.

To nikky's parents who are experimenting with their courage, letting her daughter grow and face this wicked world...for all those parents who do this....for thr pain, fear and thr chaotic life, cause its alwz this way.....everyone has to fly on his own at some point and has to face this insanely weird world on his own....and am glad my parents equipped me well.... :)

She came to office today, with her super swollen face and super duper swollen eyes. She wanna take leave because she is having headache but she is asked to stay and work on that code. I wanna go and talk to his manager, I wanna help Nikky, I wish to help her hold that innocence she has....But I am letting her go....she need to fight on her own and I should better let her face it now than later in life.... :)

I wish you luck Nikky... and am here for you....just watching....Its for your good!
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I wish :) :):) :)

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I wish you everything , and more....HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!! :)

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Close to sunset... :)

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We all have our good days and not so good days, some good months and not so good months, some good years and not so good years....

So the point is: There is alwz a counter bad part of every good thing.(and vice versa)

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The sun rises every morning, reached to its max in the day and then sets in the evening. Most of the other good things don't get chance to see the next morning, don't get chance to rise again. They see the golden time of their Era, their life, then falls and become history.

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The risen alwz fall.....or we say....alwz sets.. :)...

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Take me back home....

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Is this where I come in?
When your head is in your hands
D'you rather be alone?, if you do I understand
Well honestly I'm sorry I tracked mud across your plans

Is there where I rush in?
For I am your saving grace,
healer of the herd,descending on your space
My wings caught in your door and my halo in your face

Is this where I come in?
And there are troubles here, within the walls of this room
No one said a word and it's deafening
All of our silence, it's hardly music to the ears

Is there where I come in?
When you send up the flares
I'll send down the clown when you are broken down
Well I'll be there with bells on I'll be wringing out your cares

Is this where I come in?
Is this where I...

It's a shame we had to fight
Couldn't we just stay in bed
Save it up until tomorrow
Have a pleasant chat instead

Is this where I come in?
When your head is in your hands

D'you rather be alone? Well I'm tryin understand
Said I'm sorry, I said I'm very sorry

Now can I come in?
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Note

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Lost some Hope, some faith and a friend....

Significant day......
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