I am here for confessing, I am not afraid!!! what if I am tagged!!! Its just a begaining..i have series of confessions :)...
Both titles suites this post..NO!! i am not trying to hide my age..i am nt a teenage girl..but i am a drama queen and my mind is dangerous, 4 me as well as 4 others..see i already started confessing...so lets bein it in a systematic way..
1. yupp.. i am a drama queen. pure nautanki!!! alwaz exaggerate things!!! but that depends on my mood and to people i am talking to!!
2. I am moody!! can be sunshine and can be very cold!! some people undstan, some dont!!!
3.I feel extremely odd when someone praise me like,'ur looking beautiful' or 'hey!! ur so pretty!!'. say i am cool, or smart or talkative!! but dont use these adjectives.. i like them but nt used to of it!!!
4. I can never say what i want!! like i want 'spring'(my best frnd) to take a project 4m my city.then we'll be here together..par main nai bol sakti usse yeh!!!!!! Infect , if I want something desperately i'll say 'i dont care!!'..yupp i am mad!!
5. i can lie brilliantly!! i am a dramabaaz!! i dont prefer lying but can clearly lie!! very good lier indeed!! people cant catch me !!!
6. I cant start a talk n cant end it.. Like, i cant just go n say..'hi!! how r u!!' n start talking(even with my frnds!!)n once i start talking. i hate saying.. 'yaar, ab main rakhti hun!!' or 'achcha! main jaati hun!!' or 'main jaaun??'.
7. I hate saying goodbyes!! One shudnt took me to station for see off!! I can create scene!! Like when 'spring' was leaving for job..people on that train were thinking he is going on 'kargil war' or sumthing!!! i can create mess!!
8. I cry often!!!n that alot!! dad says i can cry 1760 times a day!! i dont hav hangovers..but i can cry on anything!! a movie!! Accidents!! mandir!!frnds!!mumma!!or avain..no matter wat!!the list is endless!!
9. i feel most embarrassed to cry in front of anyone,even my parents!!! 'Spring' says..i look very bad when i cry!! ha ha ha!! but thats no point!! I feel shy!!
10. i may look like a very forward, outspoken, bold girl but actually i am a very traditional, religious n timid person!! yupp this one is tough to confess!!
11. i am afraid of water, heights and crossing roads in night times!! that halogen headlights scares me!!
12. I deteste going to a dentist and beauty parlor..now dentist u can undstan, but beauty parlor??? i dont like those gals there..they terrifies me! I avoid going to a salon!!
13. I am very consious about my weight!! dont want to look fat!! but i am nt at all consious about my food habits..so i was n am alwz fat!!! ab kya karen!! badi tension hai!! :D
14. I am very perticular about my feets. By gods grace they are nice..And by my grace(accidents) they messed up!!! but still i try to take extra care of them..
15. I generally wear over size clothes..look fattier in it but i lfind them comfortable.My fashion sence is sick and i am very bad in shopping..
16.I love my eyes!! not that, they are beautiful, big, kajrari aankhen...they are actually..yellow in colour.. ha ha ha!!..but whenever i look into them..it reminds me..i look like my papa!!! :)
17. I feel very proud when someone says..u look like ur papa!! :)
18.I am a big tension taker!!! and i bug my mind on useless things!!they keep haunting me!!i dont like to stay free! need sumthing to keep me going!!
19.I have a very bad memory!! especially with dates and names!! (sorry guys if sumday i bump to u n say..excuse me!! :))
20. I love surprises!! Surprise visits, gifts,parties!!n giving surprises is so cool!! satisfying!!
21.I feel very uncomfortable when ' K ' (a very good frnd of mine) discuss his crushes! I dont like when he praise any gal in front of me! I dont know why, but i try to wrap up the conversation as soon as possible!!!(now ur nt going to bug me for confessing this!!)
22. I like watching movies!!and i like romantic kissing scens(my god!!!!!!!! i am writing this!!!!) I am no dirty mind!! I am nt taking about those 'choking lungs scens'..but i really feel nice to see Rayn kissing Marrissa in 'The OC' ,looks like they belong to each other or When Hugh Grant kisses Julia Roberts in'Notting Hill'.... or Chad Michael Murray kissed Hilary duff in 'The Cinderella Story'.That movie will be incomplete if he had not run just to kiss her!! In the same way 'Sweet Home Alabama' will be not be that magical, without its lovely end scene.Am i sounding shameless?????arre.. confessing yaar!!!
23.One thing I cant resist!! Solitaire diamond ring!! I am completely, truly, madly in love with diamond rings. Anyone in the world can propose me with it(nt people like mushraff..plz!!!)!! i'll have to say yes!!!
24.Another confession!! I have never been proposed!! Not directly, indirectly or like anything!!! That’s it!!
Now u guys can laugh on me… how ridicules n pathetic I am!! Or why the hell I am telling u all this nonsence.. par kya Karen!! ‘R’ tagged me!!! Try to be honest!! Fir bhi nt been able to write 31 confessions… koi naa meri jaan!! Tu tension mat le.. will write sum lately..
This post is to be continued……
*****************************
'R' called me and she scold me!!! There are some confessions she expected but i didn’t write. so here are they..
25. I am afraid of mice and lizards!! ok ok!! so what. everybody should!! They are so creepy and weird and dangerous. And i can pick cockroach, caterpillars and bugs. That used to be my favorite tp..
26. I hate washing my hair!! Now that’s something which needs proper explanation.. see washing hair needs lots of efforts n drying them made me mad, and…leave it!!!! You guys wont undstan.
27. I do sleep talking!! haanji sote huye bhi bakar karti hun!! Once I scared Richie!!
28.I like attending phone calls late night(odd hours)!! I am sleeping, someone called and I am talking to her/him in low voice 4m my razai.. I just love it!! It makes me feel very special!! (u guys are sure na…I am mad!!)
29. I bite nails!!! Bite them till they bleed and then swell and get infected!! I am a skunk!!! Tried a lot but aadat chutati hi nai!!
30.I don’t like word ‘perfect’. This kinna thing doesn’t exist and I simply don’t like people who seems perfect. I like to be with people who are true and straight not perfect. Would love a guy who is intelligent, witty and bit mad like me. ‘Thoda sa pagla, thoda sayana’!! (Yeh le!!! yeh bhi likh diya!! Khush!!!)
31. (Finally!!!) I want to sincerely request all the bloggers of the world that tagging is injurious to mind and hands!!! Plz plz avoid these nonsense acts!! People like me can have emotional breakdown while revealing all this!!!
Thank you and have a grt day!!!
Monday, November 27, 2006
Thursday, November 23, 2006
when will spring come?????
Sun was shining bright... so bright that I was burning. The air around's dry, content less, light, without life.....I was trying to protect myself cause something's evaporating...going away from me..i was drying dead. I cant help it..my lips were chapped, bleeding...i know i was loosing you...
why you have to leave me????i know i prayed for it..but why cant i come with you??? i prayed for it too..why i prayed like this???why we are parting???
no, i cant wait for you here..i wish i can..then will nvr move 4m here....will alwz stand still,but..see there goes my way..straight away..up above..just opposite of you..we are moving with life, along with the wind...and its the summer wind, dry, content less, light, without life.....
You gone!!!!!.sun hide...wind blows...lots of clouds...over dampness...i am glad its raining...
i love rain cause no one knows i am crying..no one can see stains on my cheek, no one can see my red eyes swell. yes dear, i still cant cry in front of anyone, i still feel odd saying “I am feeling bad!!"..i am still as before, cant say what i want, cant admit what i feel..still try to hide myself when i need someone most....where are you???i need you so badly..nvr tel you things, but you figured out..was alwz lying but you found out!!! i wish it rains all night..all time...till i cry..till i get empty..till i get consumed....may dampness persist and air remain this heavy..i need some one to throw myself on…..
look at my face..its pale, my palm..white n my nails are blue...m i dead or is it cause of cold outside..so long since i saw sunshine...i am feeling freezed...dead freezed...
Moving along with cold breeze..Its working on me.. slowly slowly… Filling my lungs..moving in my veins…killing my spark..stealing my liveliness…
need you here.. your words moves in me..but i cant see you, i can sense you around but i cant touch you, I am cold from inside, I am out of soul.. I don’t feel hurt, I don’t feel pain. I dont want to breath....
Want to run..run to you..want to get adheres in you...hold me tight dear...so tight that i wont feel my existence, i'll get dissolved in you ... hide me in you, i dont belong to this world..i need warmth. Warmth of ur touch..warmth of ur love..i want to remember, want to feel again..how it was when I feel complete.. when I was filled of happiness, my face glowed by ur aura,when u were around..when sun shines but air was cool..when I want to breath cause it was ur scent in it….
Tell me na dear!!!!!…when will that day come???????when will spring come???????
What bought us together, might remain unspoken,
What held us together, might wornoff and broken..
Even if ur way was diffrent,as i felt was mine,
Now i want our paths to be crossed..
Waiting for my time...
why you have to leave me????i know i prayed for it..but why cant i come with you??? i prayed for it too..why i prayed like this???why we are parting???
no, i cant wait for you here..i wish i can..then will nvr move 4m here....will alwz stand still,but..see there goes my way..straight away..up above..just opposite of you..we are moving with life, along with the wind...and its the summer wind, dry, content less, light, without life.....
You gone!!!!!.sun hide...wind blows...lots of clouds...over dampness...i am glad its raining...
i love rain cause no one knows i am crying..no one can see stains on my cheek, no one can see my red eyes swell. yes dear, i still cant cry in front of anyone, i still feel odd saying “I am feeling bad!!"..i am still as before, cant say what i want, cant admit what i feel..still try to hide myself when i need someone most....where are you???i need you so badly..nvr tel you things, but you figured out..was alwz lying but you found out!!! i wish it rains all night..all time...till i cry..till i get empty..till i get consumed....may dampness persist and air remain this heavy..i need some one to throw myself on…..
look at my face..its pale, my palm..white n my nails are blue...m i dead or is it cause of cold outside..so long since i saw sunshine...i am feeling freezed...dead freezed...
Moving along with cold breeze..Its working on me.. slowly slowly… Filling my lungs..moving in my veins…killing my spark..stealing my liveliness…
need you here.. your words moves in me..but i cant see you, i can sense you around but i cant touch you, I am cold from inside, I am out of soul.. I don’t feel hurt, I don’t feel pain. I dont want to breath....
Want to run..run to you..want to get adheres in you...hold me tight dear...so tight that i wont feel my existence, i'll get dissolved in you ... hide me in you, i dont belong to this world..i need warmth. Warmth of ur touch..warmth of ur love..i want to remember, want to feel again..how it was when I feel complete.. when I was filled of happiness, my face glowed by ur aura,when u were around..when sun shines but air was cool..when I want to breath cause it was ur scent in it….
Tell me na dear!!!!!…when will that day come???????when will spring come???????
What bought us together, might remain unspoken,
What held us together, might wornoff and broken..
Even if ur way was diffrent,as i felt was mine,
Now i want our paths to be crossed..
Waiting for my time...
Monday, November 20, 2006
I Love..I Care..
There cant be more personnel, beautiful, warm and touchy words then love n care
I m not writing this post against people with attitude..'i dont care' or 'i get a damn'. but just give a think. do u really don’t care...one can be actually like this.. but i want to express. How much i like these words n how important they are for me. How wonderful its to care someone n to be cared by someone..
I was this 3 or 4 year old when my dad get posted on field. For a civil engineer being on site is not just leveling and ranging n cement n granite. it means being late for lunch n dinner, being absent 4m surroundings 4 long n late night work and drawings. I, like a normal girl used to hate my papa's job. I used to think..
"my god!! papa ke sir kitne gande hain..itna sara homework dete hain..papa ke pass time hi nai, kitne dinon se unhone ' mash' ko 'lakdi ki kaathi' gaane pe jhula nai jhulaya :( "
(don’t get confuse!!! 'mash' is wat i pronounce 'master'. It was the nickname given by my neighbors n i used to address myself with it).
I use to sit with papa till late night(4 me late night means 10:00 pm) with my pencil n 4 line copy.....Arre my dad is working like hell, i should give company na :)..
Once He tried to convince..
"Beta.. papa is 31 years old n Raja is only 3, so u should go to bed..u'll work like me when you'll be old enough"
(yupp!! right my papa call me RAJA.. that’s the sweetest nick name i have)
n I, with my 'alwaz ready with a reply' attitude said....
"papa, when I’ll of ur age i'll be very smart..very very intelligent n then i will do all ur homework n u'll be able to go to bed early..thik hai!!!"..
Now i think. can i ever be that big... papa se bada koi kaise ho sakta hai buddhu!!!!
But my papa still remembers how happy I was with this thought...
I love my papa. I care 4 him.. and i know no one in this entire universe can love me more then him...how pure his love is. how selfless his care is.. n both of us enjoy this 'love care' relation so much. I love all the small small things he do 4 me..
"RAJA like kaju katli alot..lets buy it 4m manohar..he make good kaju katli"
ha ha ha.
Its just that..i feel sometime irrelevant, silly n stupid thinks works. Work like medicine, work like a blanket, work like anything. people cant be with u forever, but words can...
it feels so nice when someone says
"aaloo, take care!!" or "love you moti!!" or " hey!! wassup???" or "hey miss universe!! me 2 miss u!!" or "main hun naa..i'll be there 4 u" or "tension naa liya kar lajjorani!!" or "raja babu,gussa ho gaye kya???".. :)
I am blessed with people like this, they love. they care...selflessly and unconditionally...they r my people, they r my life.. i like when they show it and i am honored to have them. these things stays. stay with you everywhere, you can never feel alone can never feel empty cause u know,someone somewhere loves you, cares for you.......
I m not writing this post against people with attitude..'i dont care' or 'i get a damn'. but just give a think. do u really don’t care...one can be actually like this.. but i want to express. How much i like these words n how important they are for me. How wonderful its to care someone n to be cared by someone..
I was this 3 or 4 year old when my dad get posted on field. For a civil engineer being on site is not just leveling and ranging n cement n granite. it means being late for lunch n dinner, being absent 4m surroundings 4 long n late night work and drawings. I, like a normal girl used to hate my papa's job. I used to think..
"my god!! papa ke sir kitne gande hain..itna sara homework dete hain..papa ke pass time hi nai, kitne dinon se unhone ' mash' ko 'lakdi ki kaathi' gaane pe jhula nai jhulaya :( "
(don’t get confuse!!! 'mash' is wat i pronounce 'master'. It was the nickname given by my neighbors n i used to address myself with it).
I use to sit with papa till late night(4 me late night means 10:00 pm) with my pencil n 4 line copy.....Arre my dad is working like hell, i should give company na :)..
Once He tried to convince..
"Beta.. papa is 31 years old n Raja is only 3, so u should go to bed..u'll work like me when you'll be old enough"
(yupp!! right my papa call me RAJA.. that’s the sweetest nick name i have)
n I, with my 'alwaz ready with a reply' attitude said....
"papa, when I’ll of ur age i'll be very smart..very very intelligent n then i will do all ur homework n u'll be able to go to bed early..thik hai!!!"..
Now i think. can i ever be that big... papa se bada koi kaise ho sakta hai buddhu!!!!
But my papa still remembers how happy I was with this thought...
I love my papa. I care 4 him.. and i know no one in this entire universe can love me more then him...how pure his love is. how selfless his care is.. n both of us enjoy this 'love care' relation so much. I love all the small small things he do 4 me..
"RAJA like kaju katli alot..lets buy it 4m manohar..he make good kaju katli"
ha ha ha.
Its just that..i feel sometime irrelevant, silly n stupid thinks works. Work like medicine, work like a blanket, work like anything. people cant be with u forever, but words can...
it feels so nice when someone says
"aaloo, take care!!" or "love you moti!!" or " hey!! wassup???" or "hey miss universe!! me 2 miss u!!" or "main hun naa..i'll be there 4 u" or "tension naa liya kar lajjorani!!" or "raja babu,gussa ho gaye kya???".. :)
I am blessed with people like this, they love. they care...selflessly and unconditionally...they r my people, they r my life.. i like when they show it and i am honored to have them. these things stays. stay with you everywhere, you can never feel alone can never feel empty cause u know,someone somewhere loves you, cares for you.......
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